Monday, May 23, 2005

I Had a Haircut and Conspiracy Theories

Sa Pilipinas pag gusto mong makasagap ng tsismis na pang showbiz at politiko... go to the barbershop. They are the number one repository of opinion, rumors and conspiracy theories. Ang mga barbero at manikurista is like a newscaster/editor... perhaps better than watching television, listening to radio or reading the tabloids... kaya when you avail of their services... parang buy one take one. Me gupit ka na... may tsismis ka pa.

Nagpagupit ako kanina kay Mang Manoy ang suki kong barbero na sunki sunki ang ngipin na kulay yellow... Walang pinagkaiba ang amoy ng kamay nya at hininga... amoy nicotine. In his case, he likes to talk politics and current events. He's a number one fan of Fernando Poe Jr and Erap. He listens to the radio, buys Remate, Abante and Bulgar, watches news and soaps.

He knows what I want... dahil suki na nya ako for the past 4 years... tsaka every quarter lang ako magpagupit pero malakas akong mag bigay ng tip. Syempre pag di ka nagpagupit for ilang months mas malaki dapat ang tip mo para mas matagal ang masahe. Besides kung singkwenta pesos ang gupit at binigyan mo ng another fifty bucks, nakatipid ka pa rin ng singkwenta kasi quarterly ka nagpapagupit....

So much with the intro... The topic during that gupitan session is "Bakit Umaalis sa Pilipinas ang mga Pinoy"

Eto ang top 5 reasons ni Mang Manoy kung bakit lumalayas ang mga pinoy sa pilipinas:

1. The Sex Bomb Dancers Distorted the Filipino Way of Celebrating Birthdays, Weddings and Important Occasions. Dahil they popularized the SPAGHETTING PABABA, PATAAS... hindi na daw PANSIT ang hinahanda sa mga importanteng handaan.

2. Nawalan na ng Agimat si Ramon Revilla tapos Nadedo pa Si FPJ tapos nakabartolina pa si Erap. WALA NANG HEROES ANG MGA PINOY. Last time daw nilang nakita si Ramon Revilla naka wheel chair na. Si FPJ natalo ng powers ng isang midget woman. Si Erap pinakulong ng midget woman.

3. Naghiwalay si Cris Aquino at si Joey Marquez. Isang nakakapanghinayang at nakakadiring love team... ended up with a lot of exposures. Si Joey daw ay nahawaan si Chris aquino ng TULO. Yuck... Ewwww...

4. Nag away si Vicky Belo at si Osang. Si Vicky Belo ang sikat na lyposuction doctor at nagreretoke ng mga boobs ng mga artista ay nagkaroon ng di pagkakaunawaan kay Osang.. aka Rosana Roces. Nawalan na ang sympatya ang tao sa mga duktor kaya di na sila nagpapagamot dito... humina ang kita ng mga duktor kaya napipilitan silang magtake ng nursing.... shit... what a conspiracy theory.

5.Nagmahal ang yosi at alak. Dahil sa imposition of sin taxes tinangalan daw ng karapatan ni midget woman ang karapatan ng pilipino na mamatay ng maaga. Isang violation ng human rights... the right to die early.

O di ba worth it na magpagupit kay Mang Manoy? Me matching massage pa yan... kaya ako naligo kaagad pag uwi dahil buong katawan ko amoy pulbos at nikotine. Besides, nakakadrain ang mga conspiracy theories nya.

Till next time.

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